Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dicks are not precious.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
