i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think my tv is drunk
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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