what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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