So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
