Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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