when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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