So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
