No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
