Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
