you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We are two peas in an std pod
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
