Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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