I am puke
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
