i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
