Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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