Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
