that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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