I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
