I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
