I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
