i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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