We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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