New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
