Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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