do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
