Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
