in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
