ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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