So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
