how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
