Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
