ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
