I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was like eating out sand paper
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
