when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
