we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
