apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
