either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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