If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
