The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
