I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
