On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I could fuck to npr.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
