you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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