How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
