I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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