connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
