If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
