Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
