what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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