don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
