My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
