so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
